Your phone is broken and i'm panicking,
I also ate some pizza today. This all makes me feel so weak.
Like how hard is it to resist dairy and how hard is it to just fucking leave you alone for a whole day.

Today I feel small and empty, I'm tired but I can't sleep.
My eyes hurt and I haven't even seen you since Friday, or maybe Saturday.
I quite smoking and all I have wanted to do is smoke since my best friend left to China.
This whole love triangle thing is making my stomach hurt,
You love her. She doesn't love you. I love you. You don't love me.
And I wish she would have never moved back
and I hope you don't ever have to run into her because she doesn't deserve to see you.

All I want is for you to give me my heart back, I don't want you to have it anymore.
I can't tell if i'm wasting my time and I don't know if i'm just digging my grave farther and farther into your chest every time I talk to you.
All I want to do is go to the park where you laid on me, roll up in the biggest flannel shirt, and sleep.
And i'll hope the stars aren't out because it's just another reminder of you.
I know, I know,
this is really getting old, all of this is getting really fucking old
my poetry
my job
your job
the stars
the day
How I feel about you.
All of it. It's all just old news that I want to just sweep under the carpet of some abandoned house that no one goes into, because I don't want the burden to be discovered by someone who was just trying to get away from all the shit in their life.

When she grows up i'll make sure she knows about you, and that if she doesn't feel the way about a guy, like I feel about you, that they aren't worth her time.
And maybe I will be with someone else, I just worry I won't ever love them as much as I loved you.
I don't think i'll ever get over you and it sucks.
It really sucks.

___ __ __,

Susan Atkins