Just friends

I woke up this morning and it hit me,
I'm not quite sure why I spend time with you and I'm not sure why you spend time with me either.
I was raised better than this, my parents taught me that life isn't fair but to be thankful for what I have.
When i'm at my lowest the sound of your voice makes me feel high, I swear I can see stars when you talk, and when you look at me I see explosions in the sky.
I know you won't ever love me like you loved her or like you love her, I wish I could say that i'm ok with that but i'm not, i'm just dealing with it.
I don't want to loose you and I don't want to loose whatever we have.
You keep my head on straight.
I'm so glad I have you in my life, even though every time the hours we spend together end, I feel heartbroken.
My stomach twists when i'm with you and my throat hurts when you tell me stolen jokes.
But your smile lights the sky and your hands bring me to life; I wish I could hold them so I didn't feel so zombie.
Every time I hangout with you we create memories I won't ever get away from,

                                                Lakes
                         
                                                                          AF Canyon
                         
                                                                                                                Polaroids
                             Slurpees

Donuts    
                                                        Super-moon

                                                                                                                        Rape-jokes

                       Stars                                                            
                                                                                              Music
                                                                                                                                        Provo
                                                       Sprinklers
Dancing


                                                                                                        Milk Shakes
           Walmart
                                                   Fires
                                                                         
           
                                                                                                                   Joshua James
                                                                          Fireworks

                  Ryan Gosling
                                                                                                                            Ponds
                                                         Letters
                                                               

I won't ever be able to get away from you, even when you leave me.
I don't just love anybody, so just know that when I say I love you no one has ever meant it more than I have.
All I want you to know is that there is someone who loves you at your best and who loves you even more at your worst.
I'm so happy that you let me create memories with you, I just wish I could understand why you do it.
I'm hoping that one day you will fall for me, even just a little bit
Until then, thanks for being my friend.

I adore you, the world is worried,

Susan Atkins